There are days that you feel it is all just a test and other days that you realize it really is a test. Holden has been in NICU for almost one month now. I’m not quite sure of the day when this feeling struck but I remember standing by Holden’s bed, arm around my beautiful wife and thinking of how this test we’re going through as a family has brought incredible strength and resolve to Cheryl and I. I don’t feel like I’ve ever been closer to my wife or viewed her with such clarity and love. I’m learning to cherish Eden and Huntley in a way that I never have before. It has been in these last few weeks that I believe God has, once again, put things into perspective for me. Without the resolve, strength and warmth of Cheryl I would be a wreck right now. If the joy and brilliance of Eden and Huntley were remiss, there would be a deep void in my life right now. Without seeing Holden every day, dauntlessly fighting for his own life, I’m not quite sure I would have the strength and peace I do in this tough time. There is a scripture that my grandma shared with me recently that says, “He would put no more on you than you can bare.” I’d be a fool to say that everything is rosy and that all is well at this juncture in our family history, however, we’ve been blessed incredibly and the experience has brought us closer than ever. Love is real.

Remember the Miracle? Remember the Disappointment? Well, we’re back on miracle status at this point. I’m still trying and learning to be “cautiously optimistic” at this point, but Holden has had ZERO fluid accumulation in over a week and a half. We’re ecstatic! He no longer has the gruesome, painfully irritating chest tube that was inserted in his side to remove the fluid. He’s done some breathing on his own and is being helped a little by a nasal cannula (pressurized oxygen) when he needs it. His lungs are still catching up from being squished by all of the fluid in his thoracic cavity and from the fact that he was born over one month early. Today they started doing one feed per day with breast milk. He’s pooping…a lot! And my favorite thing to report is that we’ve been able to hold him every visit now. It is just a dream to sit there with my little buddy (who by all accounts should not even be here) and hold him in my arms.
It seems like every day is a victory at this point. I’m not sure when he’ll be coming home yet and he still has a little ways to go before he is out of the woods, but we’re hopeful for him to be home soon. I cannot thank all of you enough. I know so many have been praying and we appreciate this to the utmost. We’ve been overwhelmed by the love and support we’ve felt from our friends and family. I wish I had the time to respond to everyone and write a personal note, but please accept a humble “thank you” from all of us. Here are some recent photos of our little hero. Enjoy.